i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
This is the high leading the old right now
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
