and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
