You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
