i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
