puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
