i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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