is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
