last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
