Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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