is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
