Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
