just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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