walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
