Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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