If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize