Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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