sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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