I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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