So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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