Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
