Do vagina's smell?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
