Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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