she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
