I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize