i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
