grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
