oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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