maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
