Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And then my night got REAL pukey
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
