very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Randomize
