Moan for me like Helen Keller
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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