I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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