out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
