I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
