Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
