i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
