Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
