There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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