we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
