I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
