Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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