she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
