p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
