what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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