He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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