My first STD was from a foam party
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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