is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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