Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Sorry about my life...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
