3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
