we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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