Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
