Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I am available for nakedness
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
