I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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