Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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