two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
