is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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