My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
