Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
