We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Randomize
