Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
