i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
